Buying a Sex Machine: What really Matters?

At first buying a sex machine can feel a bit confusing.

There are different speeds, stroke lengths, sizes, weights and attachments to compare, and it’s not always obvious which features will have the most impact.

Choosing the one that is the fastest or most powerful might seem more appealing, but the best choice is usually the one that works best for you, your space and how you plan to use it.

Here are the main things to think about before buying one.

Don’t Only Look at the Top Speed

Speed is often the first thing you’ll notice, but the highest number doesn’t tell you everything.

A very fast machine isn’t much use if it’s difficult to control or quickly jumps from slow to full power.

Good speed control is often more important than top speed. Being able to make small changes helps you find a rhythm that feels comfortable rather than being stuck with a speed that’s either too slow or too intense.

You may also find that you rarely use the fastest setting. A good range of slower and middle speeds can give you far more choice.

Think About the Stroke Length

The stroke length is how far the attachment moves backwards and forwards.

A longer stroke gives a deeper movement, while a shorter stroke provides smaller, more controlled movement.

Neither of these is better. It just depends on what feels comfortable, your experience and how the machine is positioned.

An adjustable stroke length gives you more freedom because you’re not limited to one depth. You can begin with a shorter setting and increase it gradually if you want to.

The Thumpr® A3 PRO, for example, has a wider adjustable stroke range. The compact models have a shorter range, which may suit someone looking for a smaller and easier-to-handle machine.

Positioning and Stability

A sex machine can have plenty of power, but it should still be easy to position.

You should look at whether the height and angle can be adjusted. These settings can make a big difference to comfort and help you line the attachment up properly.

Where are you likely to use it?  Will it be used on a bed, on the floor or next to other furniture?

The Thumpr® A6 COMPACT has extra angle adjustment, which may be useful if you want more choice when setting the machine up.

The frame should also feel steady once it’s in position. Strong legs and secure adjustment points help prevent the machine from wobbling or moving around when the speed increases.

Always place it on a flat surface and check that everything has been tightened properly before use.

Size, Weight and Storage

It’s easy to focus on what the machine does and forget about the practical side of owning one.

Before buying, think about:

·        Where you will use it

·        Where you will keep it

·        Whether you need to carry it upstairs

·        Whether you will move it between rooms

·        Whether you may want to take it away with you

A full-size machine may offer a wider range of adjustment, but it will normally take up more room and may be heavier.

A compact sex machine can be easier to lift, move and store. This is especially useful if you don’t want to leave it set up all the time.

The Thumpr® A5 COMPACT and A6 COMPACT are smaller alternatives to the full-size A3 PRO.

Compact does not necessarily mean weak. A well-made compact machine can still provide strong automatic movement while being easier to handle.

If storage is important, check whether the legs or other parts can be removed easily. You should also look at how much work is involved in setting it up again.

A machine may look fairly small in photographs, so always check the actual measurements and weight before ordering.

Look at the Controls

You should be able to reach and understand the controls easily while the machine is being used.

Some machines have a wired controller, while others include a wireless remote.

A remote can be useful, but it should be simple to use and easy to keep nearby. You don’t want to stop because the controller has ended up on the other side of the room.

Clear speed controls are important too. You should be able to slow the machine down or stop it quickly whenever needed.

Some machines also include pre-set movement patterns. These can add variety, although many people are perfectly happy with normal adjustable movement.

Check the Attachments

The attachment can completely change the experience, so it shouldn’t be treated as an afterthought.

Before choosing a machine, check:

·        Which attachment system it uses

·        How easy the attachments are to change

·        What shapes and sizes are available

·        Whether an adaptor is needed

·        What materials the attachments are made from

A good system should allow you to change attachments without too much messing about.

Thumpr® machines use the Clic Loc™ quick-change system. Compatible sex-machine attachments can be fitted and removed without needing to take the machine apart.

Choose an attachment that suits your comfort and experience. Bigger isn’t automatically better, especially when it is being used with automatic movement.

Starting with a manageable size gives you time to get used to the machine before trying anything larger.

How Much Noise Will It Make?

No motorised sex machine will be completely silent.

You’ll normally hear the motor, and some vibration may travel through the floor or nearby furniture.

The amount of noise can depend on:

·        The speed being used

·        The type of flooring

·        How stable the machine is

·        Whether any parts are loose

·        The weight and build of the frame

Faster settings will usually create more sound and vibration.

As long as the machine stays level and stable, placing it on a suitable mat may help lessen some of the vibration.

If motor noise is a major concern, a body-powered option such as the Thumpr® ROCKER may be worth considering. It moves through your own rocking motion rather than using an electric motor.

You can learn more about automatic and body-powered machines in our guide: What Is a Sex Machine and How Does It Work?

Choose What Works for You

The fastest, biggest or most expensive machine won’t automatically be the best one.

What matters is finding something that fits your space, is easy for you to move and position, and gives you enough control over the speed and stroke length.

Before buying, think about:

·        The amount of space you have

·        Whether the machine needs to be stored away

·        How much weight you can comfortably move

·        Which positions you want to use

·        How much speed and stroke adjustment you need

·        Which attachments you prefer

·        Whether noise is likely to be a problem

Taking a little time to compare these points will make it much easier to choose a machine that you’ll actually enjoy using.

You can compare the sizes, stroke lengths and adjustment options in the full Thumpr® sex-machine range.